"for zeal for your house consumes me..."

Revival

Soon something somehow will have to give:

the ground that I am standing on;

the sky that I look upon;

the sea that waves at me;

the air that we breathe in;

the stars that shines at night.

Oh Lord, my God, hold me and make my body, mind and spirit one

Keep my sanity if I have to plead the opposite

May Your peace reign supreme within.

I don't want to do what's natural

I want to do what is holy and acceptable

If I must rent my heart out of it's socket

Or gourge my eyes so that I won't regress

I'll gladly make this bloody mess and swim in this scarlet pool

The evantuality is inevitable.

Sooner or later something will have to give,

And I pray that it won't be me.

By Your grace that in the days of old sustained me;

By your mercy I've been pardoned

And by the stripes that made me free

After all my wandering years Your grace is still sufficient for me

Before I find no pleasure in persuing You like I did in my days of youth

Before the days of trouble come

Before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark,

And the clouds return after the rain;

Oh Lord, my God, hold me and make my body, mind and spirit one

I have wanted to scream out to God the whole week. Writing this prayer is as good as that scream. I feel so much better being able to put into words how I feel. So much better!!

Uninspired

I'm challenged to review all that I knew
Believe it when I tell you I'm totally uninspired
I'm constantly reminded I gotta do what I feel
But what if what I feel is the very thing I need to lose

-Uninspired by The Other Side of Glory-

Miss Love

I was at our church prayer meetings and was so happy to see so many familiar and faces I expected to see. At the same time I felt a deep sense of grief knowing how many more could've been there. I'm not talking about attendance at prayer meetings or Sunday service. I'm thinking about those that have left the fold; packed their bags and left, leaving nothing except a faint memory of their presence. When we remember them, they can become so real. I start to grief and wonder about what went wrong. As I dwell deeper into this thought, I asked myself,"What have gone wrong with us?".

Are we contented to lay low and "let the dead bury themselves"? Do we see them again to welcome them like they have never left? Or do we welcome them back with a great celebration? I do not understand the concept of "washing our hands clean" over them. I mean, there is a time where such actions are called for, but most often there isn't a cardinal sin amongst us to warrant such treatment.

I love those that remained, but I love those who have left even more. I still "see" them on Facebook, but I know they are living different lives now. Was that how we planned it to be? What went wrong? What triggered the long process that resulted in their absence?

Do you miss them? If you do, pick up the phone and tell them you miss and love them.

You know who you are... I love you and I miss you!

THe process

I am reading Charles Spurgeon's sermon "The use of the law" from the book "World's Greatest Sermons" and I realised I missed reading these stuff. It brings to my mind fond memories of preparing for mission trips, cell lessons, youth camps, retreats etc. It also reminded me about how alert I was to the markers and guidelines that have guarded my heart during those years. Now that I've not been in ministry (in church), I have somehow lost some of that alertness. Now my family and my workplace are my ministries, I should continue to keep the things I have learned since my youth and most hungry period. That proccess continues to this day...

Receive 2 delightful sms the last weekend. Joey, who is not a full-time youth working in church smsed on Saturday to informed me that he will be preaching on Sunday's youth service. Shawn sms in the middle of the service to tell me that Joey mentioned me in his sermon. I replied "I hope he said good things about me..." He said thes sermon was about being "salt and light" of the world and that the sermon was good. That's very nice to hear. No, not about me, but about Joey preaching. It's a pity I didn't get to hear his first sermon, but I am sure it won't be his last. I'll hear him one day and perhaps challenged to give a certain aspect of my life for the sake of Christ.

Production of the pupil has been in full-steam for the past 23 days (and without a rest day mind you). We wrapped and packed at 6am this morning and was given the day off. We've been shooting for 50 days in total and like "Sayang Sayang" and "Calefare", this has been a very satisfying shoot. Not only do I work with an awesome crew, the cast were great too! And there was a great sense of camaraderie among all of us. I guess like all long productions, such friendships are sure to be formed and I treasure the moments (yes, lots of memorable ones).

More photos will be up soon!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Random thought on prayer

Be prayerful always
God never forgets
He knows all ur needs
Even before u get on ur knees
So why do we pray if He is an omnicient one?
Remember that prayer is an act to set apart those who are truly His
So as an act of worship on your knees stay

Ris Low

Disclaimer: I am not a friend of Ris Low, but the recent saga have arose a sense of pity for her.

I wish we'd stop mocking Ris Low. All her criticisms had been severe especially her command of English. Wat I find really embarrassing is that she speaks better Mandarin than most of us! In mocking the way she speaks English is mocking majority of Singaporeans.

I support the English and Mandarin speaking campaigns. But before we embark on any of these campaigns may we be reminded to be gracious to others who're different from them.

Does Ris Low really have Bi-polar disorder (BPD) should not matter, but what if it's true? Does anyone know how people with BPD behaves? I have a friend who has BPD. So I understand how it affects a person. It doesn't just affect the emotions, it affects the soul. When the soul is severely afflictel, it dies - when the soul dies, so does the person. Do we need to push the limits on others and later regret our actions?

Lets leave Ris Low alone now. The attention she brought to herself is enough, we do not need to fuel the fire.

Some photos from work

I am now on a Ch5 drama shoot. Here are some behind-the-scene peek into our lives on set. Without giving to much about the plot away, just remember to tune-in to your TV in January 2010. I am just posting some photos of the production crew. I'll post some actual production stills after I get permission from my producers. Meanwhile, enjoy.